i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
