john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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