hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
