he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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