I hope mine doesn't look like that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i've created a new STD.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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