do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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