The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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