Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Will you blow on my dice?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
