Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
