I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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