Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
