i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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