think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
