Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
