So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize