The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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