My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
