I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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