her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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