whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
