May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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