Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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