I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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