You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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