Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
