We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
