Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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