You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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