Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hippo gnu deer
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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