is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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