do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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