Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
