3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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