wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
