Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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