Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
