Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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