Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Fuck appropriateness.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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