I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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