Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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