i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
