I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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