The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
