I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
