He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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