Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
