did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
