Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
