apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have fence marks all over my body
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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