so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
