If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just gift wrapped bread.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
