make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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