I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize