wakey wakey hands off snakey
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
