Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
