I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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