Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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