Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
